Post by SteveT on Sept 22, 2016 14:53:31 GMT
I took up a challenge to write about the worst Sith Lord of all time in the style of Dr. Seuss.
This needs pictures. Where's Kisseena when you need her?
The Tale of Darth Brumpus
Have you heard of Darth Brumpus Of Flamdibar Krith?
He’s a powerful, terrible Lord of the Sith.
His skill with the Force is a thing to beware.
He can use it to rid a whole planet of air.
He’ll murder the younglings, but won’t be outdone
He’ll murder the oldings as well, just for fun.
He’ll murder the Jedi, the Senate, the Gungans,
The Ewoks, the Sarlacc, the Hutts and the Grans.
And once he’s done that, he’ll go after the Wookies
And grind up their bones for a fresh batch of cookies.
“What can we do?” you might ask of your mother.
“He’ll murder you last, after me and my brother.
He’ll freeze you with one hand, choke me with the other,
And make us trade eyes, ears, and tongues with each other.”
That’s right, he’s so evil the rumors have said
That he uses his victims as Potato Heads.
Your mother looks weary. She knows she can’t win.
“I’ve already sold you to Inspector Brin.
He’s the right hand of Brumpus, his loyal retainer.
Now go pack yourself in that cargo container.
You’ll be a test subject, a valuable gift,
And in return Brin said my death will be swift.”
You get in the box and fly out into space,
And you stay in that box ‘til you get to the place
Where Lord Brumpus awaits you, lightsaber in hand.
You get out of the box and you make the demand
That he set you both free, for you know you can see
Some faint light in his heart, but it’s not meant to be.
You and your brother, oh what horrors come
He breaks into your head, gets you under his thumb
You forget everything that once made yourself you,
Become part of a hivemind, a you made of Yous,
And together you Yous control Starbase Brakoo.
Starbase Brakoo will then blow up Naboo.
But it won’t stop there, no! There are so many planets.
Or maybe there were before Brumpus could plan it,
The most heinous of capers. It's done in a pinch.
He’ll blow everything up. What a son of a Grinch.
This needs pictures. Where's Kisseena when you need her?
The Tale of Darth Brumpus
Have you heard of Darth Brumpus Of Flamdibar Krith?
He’s a powerful, terrible Lord of the Sith.
His skill with the Force is a thing to beware.
He can use it to rid a whole planet of air.
He’ll murder the younglings, but won’t be outdone
He’ll murder the oldings as well, just for fun.
He’ll murder the Jedi, the Senate, the Gungans,
The Ewoks, the Sarlacc, the Hutts and the Grans.
And once he’s done that, he’ll go after the Wookies
And grind up their bones for a fresh batch of cookies.
“What can we do?” you might ask of your mother.
“He’ll murder you last, after me and my brother.
He’ll freeze you with one hand, choke me with the other,
And make us trade eyes, ears, and tongues with each other.”
That’s right, he’s so evil the rumors have said
That he uses his victims as Potato Heads.
Your mother looks weary. She knows she can’t win.
“I’ve already sold you to Inspector Brin.
He’s the right hand of Brumpus, his loyal retainer.
Now go pack yourself in that cargo container.
You’ll be a test subject, a valuable gift,
And in return Brin said my death will be swift.”
You get in the box and fly out into space,
And you stay in that box ‘til you get to the place
Where Lord Brumpus awaits you, lightsaber in hand.
You get out of the box and you make the demand
That he set you both free, for you know you can see
Some faint light in his heart, but it’s not meant to be.
You and your brother, oh what horrors come
He breaks into your head, gets you under his thumb
You forget everything that once made yourself you,
Become part of a hivemind, a you made of Yous,
And together you Yous control Starbase Brakoo.
Starbase Brakoo will then blow up Naboo.
But it won’t stop there, no! There are so many planets.
Or maybe there were before Brumpus could plan it,
The most heinous of capers. It's done in a pinch.
He’ll blow everything up. What a son of a Grinch.
